dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
