Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
