think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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