guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
