are you still at the devil's house?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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