Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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