You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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