what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
