it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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