We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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