This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
