did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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