hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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