Can i not drive my cunt home
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
