Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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