Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
third nipple confirmed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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