batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
