thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
