Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
