wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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