why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
