Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
