dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
