Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
there is glitter all over my balls
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
