there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
