the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize