I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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