I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
