You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
