So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
time to smoke my breakfast
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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