Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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