Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
