I think I died a long time ago.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
