We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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