good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
