He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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