Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
