To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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