I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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