I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
