i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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