Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
