Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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