don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
