I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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