I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
