if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
