Non-Jews are for practice
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
