shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize