I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
