he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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