If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
