idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
