My girlfriend figured out who you are.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
