I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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