its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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