so explain again why im purple
no
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
