I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And then my night got REAL pukey
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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