So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize