i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
