Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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