this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
