3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
