He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
