her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
