So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
