Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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