I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
