I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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