He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize